Today

Compiling a guest list of who to invite can be one of the most stressful aspects of a wedding. The hardest choice is mixing the right variety of guests, balanced between family, friends and, if your career is important to you, your colleagues. Here are a number of factors to take into consideration to help you achieve this goal with a minimum amount of fuss.

• First make a list of the people you really care about - the ones you see or talk to on a daily or weekly basis
• Add to this list the people who you may not be so in touch with now, but have certainly played an important part in your life when you were younger
• Now look at the people you work with - are they really your friends, or do you feel pressured to invite them because it's expected?
• Those people that are contributing towards the costs of the wedding may feel they have a say in who is invited
• You and your partner may have families of varying sizes. Consider whether the one with a smaller family should invite more distant relatives to even up the numbers if this is an issue
• Are you part of separate social groups or do you have lots of mutual friends?
• You and your partner should make your own separate personal lists. Give them some thought, then compare them afterwards. Talk through any differences you have
• Remember that this is YOUR wedding - don't feel pressured into inviting people who you don't want to be there, invite who YOU want

Once you have an initial guest list, it may help if you reconsider a number of factors to judge whether you have too many people or too little money.

• Do you restrict the guest list to mostly family or mostly friends?
• Should you hire a larger but potentially more costly venue?
• Do you need to re-think the catering options?
• Who will be offended if they are not invited and does it really matter to you?
• Will you both insist on inviting the same number of people?

Wedding lists are about how you value people - talking through your concerns with your partner should help you both settle on a guest list you are both happy with.